Epic Pony Rap Battles of Equestrian History
by SecretBronyAccount
Summary: You will decide who battles next as your chosen ponies battle it out...lyrically! Who wins? Based on nicepeter's battles. I don't own MLP: FiM.
1. Pinkie vs Rainbow

**Rainbow Dash**

Hey, lookie here! It's the resident baker.

When it comes to rap battles it's you who's the faker!

The name's Dash. I hit mach 10 on a daily basis,

You can't even escape your sugar oasis.

So get off of your sweets and _try _to challenge me!

My middle name might as well be MC!

**Pinkie Pie**

Your middle name is Ashleigh and you couldn't rap a present;

I know that more than anypony, I'm the princess, you're the peasant!

Rapping is easy, I have a creative mind,

I do this on my fricken' spare time!

You think you can beat me? It's you who's the fake!

Why don't try a delicious cupcake?

**Rainbow Dash**

The "Cupcakes" thing again? That's getting old, you see.

Hop in the back seat of my "Rocket to Insanity".

Rainbow Dash is the best, that you cannot deny,

I'm the fastest around, and that ain't no lie.

This rap got 20% cooler just like that,

I'll win this rap battle in 10 seconds flat!

Move aside Pinkie, it's the Rainbow Dash era,

Let's take a tour of my factory and turn your ass into sclera!

**Pinkie Pie**

You took it too far, Dash; now I'm gonna own ya.

You afraid of the sandman? ENTER PINKAMENA!

That's right, my wild side is now outta it's cage,

By the way; I saw you and AJ backstage!

They say you're great; ya got the brains of a grade-schooler.

Sit your ass down you egghead filly-fooler!

**WHO WON?**

**WHO'S NEXT?**

**YOU DECIDE **in the reveiw section.


	2. Vinyl vs Octavia

**Vinyl Scratch**

Pon-3 in the house, I'm the best MC!

I'm battling a classical music wannabe!

So keep playin' your cello, I rap like a queen,

Do you even know what the word "rap" means?

Let's just get this over with; I have a concert a six.

It sells 3 times as more as you do; this battle's just for kicks.

**Octavia**

Classical music wannabe? I'll keep this alive.

You're a really bad rip-off of DeadMau5!

My music's been around for ages; yours 20 seconds.

Mine takes skill; you use machines, I reckon.

I can play the cello. You can't play anything!

So cower behind your beat machine; It's my victory they'll sing!

**Vinyl Scratch**

Everypony knows I'm the best in Equestria!

I'm giving personal tickets to Princess Celestia!

Cower behind my beat machine? That's really funny.

I can't even see you behind your orchestra, honey.

I'm the best there is; My fandom is wider than yours.

I don't see anypony wearing Octavia shirts.

**Octavia**

You don't understand, Vinyl; I'm in it to win it.

So sit back down and enjoy your 15 minutes!

I have talent and people come from miles around!

From Canterlot to Cloudsdale; you only got one town!

It's me who's the one making all the cash;

So go on home and get shipped with Rainbow Dash.

**WHO WON?**

**WHO's NEXT?**

**YOU DECIDE **in the review section


	3. Rarity vs Twilight

**Twilight Sparkle**

A rap battle? I've read up on those.

Enough to lyrically own you, ya know.

So I'll begin now; lemmie start with your style.

It's 2 seasons late and even then it's vile.

Some say that you're ensembles are magic;

I've seen them; it's the art of the tragic.

**Rarity**

When it comes to style, you think it's you who knows?

Every time I see you, you aren't wearing clothes!

Who designed you Gala dress? That was me.

I also designed your wedding outfit for all to see!

So back off, go back to your friend Cullen, and quit this fight.

You both Sparkle in the sun and are named Twilight.

**TWILIGHT SPARKLE LEAVES! WE NEED SOMEPONY TO FINISH! IT'S…IT'S…**

**Fluttershy**

Now I've heard rumors, Rarity, but now I know it's true.

The devil who wears prada is actually _you._

The element of generosity? You're kidding me, right?

I've seen generous; your personality doesn't put up a fight.

So go back home and snoop in Sweetie's stuff;

She makes better dresses than you; did you take that rough?

**Rarity**

Go home, Fluttershy, this is a game for adults.

Go let angel make you go to the market just to get extra salt!

A bunny bullies you! That's just sad!

Sometimes kindness is the thing that's bad.

My rhymes are mean, I even have a vicious cat!

Why don't you go back to being everypony's doormat!

**WHO WON?**

**NEXT UP: QUEEN CHRYSALIS VS DISCORD!**


	4. Discord vs Queen Chrysalis

**Discord**

Dearest Queen Chrysalis, if that's even your name!

Everypony knows Discord is the king of games!

I made the elements flip; I turned Equestria upside down!

All you did was impersonate and fail to take the crown!

Discord just beat you; you got reprimanded.

It's you who's the fake…no pun intended.

**Queen Chrysalis**

Your arrogance and bad rhymes amuse me.

I'm a bigger threat than you to Equestria you see!

I'm not dead; my fate is unknown.

Last time I checked Twilight turned your ass to stone!

Yes, she defeated me, but who imprisoned Celestia, who did?

That's right! Me! I got farther than you did!

**Discord**

But that's the point, hon, is it a brain you need me to loan?

I'm so powerful they _have _to turn me to stone!

Look at you! No pony can beat me!

Do what you do best and turn into a better MC!

And is it hard to live with that ugliness you carry?

You were a different person and you _still _couldn't get married!

**Queen Chrysalis**

Very funny. Laugh when I take over Equestria!

I have a higher rank than _Princess _Celestia!

No one apposes me! That's right, I'M THE QUEEN!

You're a chicken, a goat and everything in between!

I have the changelings to back me up and I'll make you sorry.

Ya gonna beat me? YOU AND WHAT ARMY?

**WHO WON?**

**NEXT UP: DERPY WHOOVES VS CHEERILEE!**


	5. Derpy vs Cheerilee

**Cheerilee**

I could teach rap, I've got a stacked deck.

And I'm no doctor but I think you need your eyes checked.

Cheerilee's the name, teaching is my game,

You're about to get schooled, you'll be sorry ya came!

Go back and eat some muffins, Cheerilee is the star,

I don't even think you know where you are!

**Derpy **

I think I know where you gained all this sass;

You have Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon in the same class!

And trust me; I know where I am, I ain't no fool.

Sit your flank down because you're about to get schooled!

This rap battle won't last very long.

I don't know what happened; I just don't know what went wrong!

**Cheerilee**

Derpy, face it; you're an epic fail.

I'm a school teacher and you're delivering mail!

This battle is already won so just go away!

Go destroy something else and cause havoc today!

You think you won? What's wrong with that head?

If you're interested, I teach special ed!

**Derpy**

That was just _mean_! Do you do this to your foals?

Betcha Santa Hooves gives you hot coals!

I've got a huge fandom; I'm practically a preacher!

So sit down because today, I'M the teacher!

My eyesight isn't bad; still good to me!

When I look at you, a bad rapper is all I see!

**WHO WON?**

**NEXT UP: DOCTOR WHOOVES VS STARSWIRL THE BEARDED!**


	6. Doctor Whooves vs Starswirl the Bearded

**Doctor Whooves**

I'm a doctor from Britain; a pony of class.

And I traveled back in time just TO WHOOP YOUR ASS!

You have a ridiculous get-up; but that's not my fault.

Go craw back to Dumbledore and Gandalf!

I doubt your rap will put up a fight;

A female dressed up as you on Nightmare Night!

**Starswirl the Bearded**

I have my own wing in the archives; it's protected with locks.

I'm 1,000 years old; what the hay is a police box?

My raps are cold; they're as fresh as ice.

I'm glad you have two hearts; I can kill you twice!

When it comes to rap battles I'm not afraid to diss.

Now go back into that hole you call a TARDIS!

**Doctor Whooves**

You think I'm scared of a stereotypical wizard?

Go conjure up a spell for not being absurd!

And use those spells to become a better rapper

Or to make that ridiculous outfit more dapper!

I'll beat you so bad it'll leave you confused.

When they asked what happened you'll say "Doctor _Who_?"

**Starswirl the Bearded**

I doubt that; in fact, I know just who you are.

A pony who takes his gimmick too far!

I'm the real deal and my spells will leave you amazed!

I got insanity spells; but you'll already be crazed!

I think we know who won this rap battle; I did.

Now bow your head down to Starswirl the Bearded!

**WHO WON?**

**NEXT UP: PRINCESS CELESTIA VS PRINCESS LUNA!**


	7. Princess Luna vs Princess Celestia

**Princess Celestia**

A rap battle, sister? Very well, I can play.

I'm the ruler of Equestria; what else do I say?

I could tell you that you're an outcast.

I could also say that my power can't be outclassed.

I need to get back to my duties; Can this be over soon?

By the way, sis; how was your stay on the moon?

**Princess Luna**

It was great; I was away from you!

Now I get to beat you in a rap battle too?

This is the best day of my life; it will be all over Equestria!

"Princess Luna verbally kills Molestia!"

Don't think I'll beat you with care,

Because right now I'm your worst nightmare!

**Princess Celestia**

That was cute, sister, but not worth a second look.

Those rhymes don't belong here; they belong in a scrapbook.

First the Princess of the Sun; now the Princess of Rap.

I'm the only one around here on the map.

You're a nopony; a big royal pain!

And as Night Mare Moon…a little bit insane.

**Princess Luna**

'The Princess of Rap'? Does it look like I care?

You're actually more like 'The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air'.

The Lunar Princess is back! She's taking you to class!

And now she's about to kick some royal ass!

I just lyrically murdered you, you impudent foal!

Now go back to Canterlot and find somepony else to troll!

**WHO WON?**

**UP NEXT: PRINCESS CADANCE VS PRINCE BLUEBLOOD!**


	8. Prince Blueblood vs Princess Cadance

**Princess Cadance**

Dear Celestia; do I really have to this?

I already know that you'll swing and you'll miss!

I beat Chrysalis and I can beat you, too.

By the way; Celestia likes me better than you.

You don't understand; you can't beat me!

Now go back home and get shot down by Rarity.

**Prince Blueblood**

Rarity was a fool and so are you!

I'll royally own you and your husband too!

Speaking of him, you could have better invested;

By that look you're giving me I can tell you're interested!

But no. You see, the real truth is,

Offense. You're uglier than Chrysalis.

**Princess Cadance**

You're a royal pain in the ass; like a bad splinter.

A rap battle? You can't wrap-up winter!

I done with you. I've had my fun.

You couldn't win a rap battle against a nun!

And about that last statement; well, I don't care.

I'm the royal buffet; you're common carnival fair.

**Prince Blueblood**

You do realize you just compared yourself to food.

No matter; I'll eat you up you sluggish buffoon!

Shining Armor must really be feeling tragic.

You probably got him by using your love magic!

You're luck ran out; no more four leaf clover.

This rap battle is done; game over.

**WHO WON?**

**NEXT UP: Applejack and Big Macintosh vs The Flim Flam Brothers!**


	9. Flim & Flam vs AJ & Big Mac

**Flim**

Flim here on the mic and I'm here to say.

I'll sell you a loss in this rap battle today!

Unmatched sailspony's are what we are;

And now we're here to raise the bar!

We'll shoot you down like a sitting duck;

We all know who has the better product.

**Applejack**

The name's AJ and I'll introduce myself today;

An ultimate ass whooping pony; nonpareil!

We beat you once and now we can do it again.

When it comes to rap battles we're the best there's ever been!

So sit down 'cause Applejack is taking you to class!

One time offer; 19.99 for a can of whoop ass!

**Flam**

Well look at what we got here, brother of mine; same in all the towns.

The food industry is being run by a bunch of freaking clowns!

We're the ultimate sailsponys; we can give you some tips.

Prehaps a new roof or a synthetic hip?

Face it; you just got told.

Consider this victory sold!

**Big Mac**

Now I usually don't say much, but now it's real.

You brought the Apple family in; now you'll kneel.

Big Mac in the house; droppin' bombs with his tounge.

When it comes to stuff like this I'm number one.

You wanna make fun? I can do that too.

We won't be needing it; save that synthetic hip for you.

**WHO WON?**

**WHO'S NEXT?**

**YOU DECIDE **in the review section.


	10. Tom the Rock vs Tank the Turtle

**Tank**

I'm a pet turtle and I'm here to teach you a lesson.

You're a Celestia flippin' rock; But still up I won't be lettin'.

I'm the number one MC makin' all the cash!

20% cooler; the pet of Rainbow Dash!

I won't be giving up; not giving you charity.

I'll kick you outta my home like you we're kicked out of Rarity's.

**Tom**

I'm Tom, and no pun intended; I rock!

I'm 20% better than you; I got my raps on lock!

So back up; My raps are all like "Woah"!

You're a turtle so it makes sense that your raps are slow.

So craw back to your owner. She'd be ashamed.

In the words of Gilda: Your raps are lame.

**TANK IS SLOWLY RUNNING AWAY! WE NEED SOMEPONY OR SOMETHING TO FINISH THIS RAP BATTLE! IT'S…IT'S…**

**Rocky**

Representing Pinkamena and beat you, Tom.

Everypony knows that Rocky's the bomb!

Rarity dumped you out on to the street;

So it makes sense that you're easy to beat.

I just beat you, Tom. Give me my personal space.

'Cause now you're stuck between a rock and a hard place.

**Tom**

You think you can beat me ya little punk?

Not sure if you're sober or if you're punch drunk.

For a pony to lift me up it takes all fours;

If you haven't noticed my rock is bigger than yours!

So give it up, Rocky. I just won.

Go back to LeFlour and your party of one.

**WHO WON?**

**NEXT UP: GILDA THE GRIFFON VS THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!**


	11. Gilda vs Trixie

**Trixie**

The name is Trixie; but I'm sure you've heard of me.

You're just a flippin' Rainbow Dash wannabe!

Trixie's the real deal; you're just tragic.

Trixie couldn't even fix you up with my magic.

Don't go home yet Gilda; Let's see how you do.

Trixie's done rapping; Now let's see you.

**Gilda**

A wannabe Rainbow Dash? That pony is lame!

Just like the rest of you; it's really a shame.

You wanna see how I do? Well how about this?

If you were gone Equestria would be more of a bliss!

I don't want to hear you anymore. Pack your bags and go!

Nopony misses you and your rhymes are slow.

**Trixie**

Why does Trixie feel like she's rapping a child?

Oh, wait; you have the skills of one all the while.

So know your role and shut your mouth; Trixie is here.

I already see your defeat coming near.

So get out of my sight you self-delusional snitch!

Half lion; half eagle; and aaaaaalllllllllllll bi-

**Gilda**

You stop right there! You've crossed the line!

You wanna do it that way? Ha! Fine!

I'll beat you so hard I'll knock off your eyeliner!

And stop your bragging; what happened with that Ursa _Minor_?

You're a joke; you and that stupid ass hat!

You never made it as a villan; go back to stroking your cat.

**WHO WON?  
NEXT UP: **

**PINKIE PIE**

**RAINBOW DASH**

**TTTHHHHEE RRREEMMMAATTCCHHH!**


	12. Pinkie vs Rainbow II

**Rainbow Dash**

What do ya know? Look who came back for more!

I'll own you this time like I owned you before!

So stop this crap; you have no chance!

Screw Zecora; I'll put you in a trace!

I doubt that you'll be any better than last time;

So step up to the mic pink; let's see how ya rhyme.

**Pinkie Pie**

For your information I have gotten better.

And I'll tear you up like I'm grinding some cheddar!

My famous cupcakes have more fame than Lassie.

What do you have? "My Little Dashie?"

So sit back down, silly filly; or should I say colt?

"Best Flyer in Equestria" and you aren't a Wonderbolt?

**Rainbow Dash**

You referenced "Cupcakes" again? Don't you have class!

Remember that sequel where I kick your ass?

I just defeated you; and I'll do another.

You okay? Your mane is going is straight and your tone is losing color.

Did I make Pinkie Pie sad? Not enough sugar in your tummy?

You have a big bark but your bite is bad as gummy's.

**Pinkie Pie**

Just shut the hell up and go back to your house, okay?

And go get shipped with Twilight Sparkle and AJ.

You ain't good enough for this game, Pinkie Pie is number one!

And me being sad? You look like you ain't having fun!

So remember that Pinkie Pie beats them all.

I just broke you down like I break the fourth wall!

**WHO WON?**

**YOU PICK TWO VETERANS FROM RAP BATTLE HISTORY AND PIT THEM AGAINST EACH OTHER!**


	13. Luna vs Pon3

**Vinyl Scratch**

DJ-Pon3 spinnin' raves in this space.

I've got pony's comin' 'round from all over the place.

Everypony loves me! "It's Pon3! No way!"

Every time they see your face everypony runs away!

So go back to filling kindergarteners with fright.

When I'm in my night club, _I'm_ the princess of the night.

**Princess Luna**

Scaring kindergarteners? I'll have you kneeling on the ground!

Then you realized it's me you wish you never found.

You'll be soaking in your fright; I'll give you no choice.

THEN I'LL BLOW YOUR ASS BACK WITH MY ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE!

I hope my royal rap doesn't make you offended.

But I just 'beat' you. Pun intended.

**Vinyl Scratch**

Well, well, well! The Lunar Princess got game!

But I'm a rapping machine; all your raps are just lame.

Ponies come every night lookin' for music to hear.

Rapping ain't a hobby; it's my flippin' career!

I'm the best DJ in _aaalllll _of Equestria!

You're stuck in the shadow of Princess Celestia!

**Princess Luna**

I'm a dominant force; that we can all agree.

So just give up Vinyl; why can't you see?

You just got verbally owned; but you're too stupid to care.

Too stupid to realize I'm your worst nightmare!

So stop gaping in awe; you just got Luna-fied!

I don't care if they're red or magenta but now they're cross eyed!

**WHO WON?**

**NEXT UP: PINKIE PIE AND RAINBOW DASH VS FLUTTERSHY AND RARITY!**


	14. Pinkie & Rainbow vs Fluttershy & Rarity

**Pinkie Pie**

You wanna rap battle, Fluttershy? Woah, woah, woah!

You're afraid of your own fricken shadow!

Don't you walk out of here thinking that you're really mean;

"The Stare Master?" that sounds like an exercise machine!

Don't you think all your stupid rhymes are nifty;

Put on some frosting and bake you up at three-fifty!

**Fluttershy**

I'm afraid of my own shadow; I admit it, it's true.

But that's only because it's scarier than you!

I don't care if you're you or Pinkamena. I'll beat you as is;

Beat me? First, get over your identity crisis.

I don't want to be mean; a little dove, me.

But I don't need to scream; the crowd _already_ loves me!

**Rainbow Dash**

That's right! I'm back, and hey; you're welcome.

When somepony challenges me I come up here and tell'em.

My raps impact with a bang! You can't rap, Rarity!

You're to caught up in your dresses to remotely "careity".

And you think you're so pretty? How do I tell you this, yikes?

No one's gonna date you! You're better off with Spike!

**Rarity**

You're raps come with a bang? That statement is whack.

The only thing you're banging, Rainbow, is Applejack.

Why I'm doing this again? I don't know? I've had my say.

Last time I did this I made Twilight run away!

Rarity droppin' bombs in this space!

"The Devil who Wears Prada" just put you in your place.

**WHO WON?**

**WHO'S NEXT!**

**YOU DECIDE **in the review section


	15. Diamond Dogs vs Cutie Mark Crusaders

**CMC Apple Bloom**

Apple Bloom here on the mic; and I predict today;

We earn our cutie marks by kicking your flank; but hey!

Who am I to judge; Oh, wait. That'd be you.

You're both so stupid and slow you might as well be saying "Moo!"

We're the CMC; and we're looking for our talents.

By that look on your face, I think we might have just found it!

**DD Rover**

The name is Rover; Diamond Dog number 1!

I came here to own you three; not to have fun.

So let's stop this little game; you don't have anything to steal.

And you little stupid will come up to us and kneel!

We don't need to do this! We have gems that need pickin'!

But instead we're battle rapping a dictionary and a chicken!

**CMC Scootaloo**

In case you haven't picked it up my name is Scootaloo;

And I'm not the chicken; the chickens are you!

Sweetie Belle's sister made you break down in tears;

She didn't even touch you! Is whining one of your fears?

I can see through your rhymes; I got the sight of an eagle.

So go back to finding "your precious", Smeagol!

**DD Spot**

Don't you talk to Rover like that! We're the Diamond Dogs!

You're just three grade schoolers with the intelligence of frogs!

So back off! Before you get hurt!

We'll beat you in this battle and then shove you in the dirt!

The Diamond Dogs owned you! We beat the CMC!

Nopony like you can stand up to me!

**CMC Sweetie Belle**

Do I think that you guys are bad? The answer; not very.

And now I'm here to prove why they call me "Dictionary".

I'm laying down rhymes with which you can't keep up.

Did we just beat you? In the words of Big Mac; Eeyup!

What's it like for your defense to fade?

You just got overthrown by the Cutie Mark Crusade!

**DD Fido**

Call me Fido; I'm the muscle of the Double D;

I'll wipe that smug look off your face, you see.

You think you're so tough? I think you mixed up who's who;

Take a better look; we're ten times taller than you!

So run back home while you're still alive!

Or we'll pounce on you like bees out of a hive!

**WHO WON?**

**WHO'S NEXT?**

**YOU DECIDE **in the comment section

_A/N: I feel bad about that Applejack line in the previous battle. I'll keep it up for now, but if it offends you in any way say the word and I'll take the chapter down. I have no discrimination against gay or lesbians and I was just trying to be funny. Again, say the word and the chapter goes down._


	16. vs ?

_A/N: 60% of my interest lies in my story "Clockwork Angels." So, don't be surprised if my rate of pumping these out isn't as fast._

_Also, to completely advertise another one of my fanfictions even though you don't care and really want to get to the rap battle, but I am doing one called "The Clockwork Angels" on FIMfiction. It's inspired by my favorite band's new album, Rush, but if you don't like their music I'm sure you still find at least some enjoyment. But on to the rap battle. This actually starts out as a story…_

"Thanks for giving me a better tour of Ponyville, Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle. Thou art pleased." said Princess Luna.

Twilight and Pinkie had offered to give Luna a better tour of Ponyville when she had gotten the chance. That day was today and they had just finished.

"Oh yea! It was fun!"

Pinkie's whole entire body began to shake.

"TTTThhhiiiisss isss ggggooonnnaaa beeee aaaa dddooooozzzzyyyy!" shouted Pinkie.

"Oh no! We gotta get out of here!" said Twilight, attempting to cast a teleportation spell.

Instead, a flash of bright white engulfed them. When it died down, standing next to regular Pinkie was a much darker pink mare with a completely straight mane. Next to Luna was…well, since she is so hard to explain, Night Mare Moon. Twilight Sparkle sighed.

"This doesn't mean we're gonna have an "Epic Pony Rap Battle of Equestrian History", does it?" asked Twilight.

"Oh." said Pinkie.

"It does." Said Luna

**Princess Luna**

My name is Princess Luna on the stage for time three;

Fan picked; I'm better rapper than you'll ever be!

Up in this peace; with alter-ego Night Mare Moon!

Don't run home yet; don't wanna beat ya too soon!

My rapping is superior. That is a fact.

You're welcome, reviewers; the Lunar Princess. Is. Back!

**Pinkie Pie**

Ohh, don't get cocky to soon!

I'd like to take pleasure in sending you to the moon!

Pinkie Pie here; this is my second time.

But that still don't mean that I still can rhyme!

You're getting tips from Celestia through an antenna;

My rapping is done here; take it away, Pinkamena!

**Night Mare Moon**

I am Night Mare Moon; you're worst nightmare and bane.

My raps are like my personality; totally insane!

You that _you're _crazy? I eat kids up for a snack!

Will you defeat me? I'll sum it up like Big Mac.

Nope. I win; I hope you've had your fun.

'Cause Night Mare Moon just crashed your "Party of One"

**Pinkamena Diane Pie**

Oh please, NMM! I define the word crazy!

You may eat children but I make them nice and tasty!

Add a little frosting and there you go!

World famous like that; in ten seconds flat, yo!

Don't go bragging, Night Mare Moon; you haven't won.

This "Party of One" has just. Begun.

**WHO WON?**

**THE ONLY PONIES WITH THREE RAP BATTLES A PIECE ARE RAINBOW DASH AND PRINCESS LUNA. NEXT RAP BATTLE, THE RECORD WILL JUMP TO FOUR…**


	17. Luna vs Dash

**Princess Luna**

I'm the Lunar Princess on the mic for time four;

And I'll beat you like I beat the others before!

I defeated Pon3 quick; beat Pinkie Pie fast.

Not only that; I kicked Celestia's ass!

When it comes to my rhymes; up you can't keep.

I'm the Princess of the Night and I'm putting you to sleep.

**Rainbow Dash**

Rainbow Dash on the mic but who doesn't know that?

I'll kick your ass backwards in ten seconds flat!

Remember that Sonic Rainboom? I did that three times.

And I'll do it verbally to you with one of my rhymes!

Are you okay, Princess? You seem a little troubled.

'Cause with Dash in this clash the fun has been doubled!

**Princess Luna**

"The fun has been doubled"? I said that line first.

And the fun didn't double; it actually got worse.

Don't think that you've stole this victory too soon.

I've heard better rapping from moon rocks on the moon!

I'll give you a warning, Dash; get out of this place.

You're "Verbal Rainbooming" in royal airspace!

**Rainbow Dash**

Ooh, Princess! You think that you're mean?

Your rhymes sound like Flim and Flam's cider machine!

I'll take you out like the trash; this will be over soon.

I'll eat your pathetic rhymes up like Night Mare Moon!

So bow down to Dash; I'll leave you no choice.

You'll be begging for mercy with your Canterlot voice.

**WHO WON?**

**NEXT: OWLOWISCIOUS VS SPIKE!**


	18. Spike vs Owlowiscious

**Owlowiscious**

The name is Owlowiscious and I'm a first rate assistant.

A rap battle versus you? I just couldn't resist it.

You call yourself a dragon? I think you mixed up your duties.

You don't belong here! You belong in _Newborn Cuties_!

Reason's what make me better? I'll give you fifty!

I'll leave so dazed I'll turn your head three-sixty!

**Spike**

You bet I'm a dragon; what you say is a lie.

Press me further, buddy, and I'll show you why!

You're a first rate assistant? Do I really need to shout?

You had 22 minutes of fame; I have more than I can count!

So go back to the forest; I just defeated you.

Everypony knows Spike; Owlowiscious "Who"?

**Owlowiscious**

I think the real question here is "Spike" who.

Please, even Gummy raps better than you.

Speaking of Gummy, what's the point of this fight?

You don't have any bark and you don't have any bite.

Let's face the facts, Spike; I just took you to town!

If I turn my head 360 I see failure all around!

**Spike**

You don't quite get it; this is _my_ house!

I tear you right up like a small field mouse!

So come on, Owl; hop on the bandwagon.

Everypony here loves Spike the Dragon!

Come on, Owlowiscious; I'll beat you any week.

If you need me I'm sleeping over at the Carousel Boutique.

**HOO WON?**

**HOO'S NEXT?**

**YOOOO DECIDE **in the review section.


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